The Gist Of Yet Another Weird Dream I Had

   Jerry held one end of the bright red, extremely lightweight length of four-inch wide finish line tape and excitedly watched as the group of eight women sprinted towards him. At the opposite end of the tape stood his friend and fellow Pepperdine university student Bobby "Murph" Murphy, who equaled if not slightly exceeded his own enthusiasm for such a simple task.

   It was the late 1970's and both of the young men had been chosen from a pool of volunteers to hold up the finish line tape for the women's 100 meter dash. Primarily because both of them were tan, tall, fit, and looked like central casting's idea of what two young male California college students should look like.

   Neither of the young men could believe their luck. The group of young women, all of them beautiful television or movie stars and all of them clad in skimpy satin shorts and tight tank tops charging at full speed down the individual lanes of the straightway of the oval track were a hetero young man's delight, just as the producers of this "sporting" event planned.

   Both Jerry and Murph tried their best not to be to overwhelmed by the presence of the celebrities - Richard Dawson, Mike Farrell and Bill Bixby were gathered together with a few other actors standing at the finish line (Jerry was certain that one of them was Tony Dow, but couldn't imagine how his agent was able to get him involved), each of them holding stop watches and paying rapt attention to the race.

   Murph's smile broadened as he watched the gratuitous bouncing of the ample bosoms of the energetic competitors, some of which were prominently featured on posters he had tacked to the walls of his dorm room.

   The women were fairly evenly matched until fifty meters in, when Susan Saint James (who had to be over thirty thought Jerry) and Harlee McBride broke from the pack. Both of them had great form and Murph actually interrupted his lust-filled thoughts to comment to himself that both of those actresses must have ran track in high school or college, or had at least worked with a track coach for a couple of weeks before this race.   

    As the women got within twenty meters of the finish line Jerry and Murph held the tape up a little higher as per the instructions of one of the producers, who wanted the finish to be filmed as close to dead center breast height of the winner as possible (his exact words were, "I want the winner of this race to break the tape with her nipples!")

    Saint James and McBride appeared to be dueling it out for first when suddenly Adrienne Barbeau came out of nowhere and pulled alongside both of the leaders. It was neck and neck for the last five meters but Barbeau appeared to have won the race by a nose...neck and neck and a nose not being the descriptives that the producer used, btw.  

    Richard Dawson, Ted Shackleford and Pepper Martin approached Greg Harrison, who was officiating the race, and gave him the individual times for the finishers. Randi Oakes finished in last place, which had Harrison cracking up for some reason.